That has happened to me so many times it stopped bothering me. People think nothing of asking their friend the designer to work for free. I started telling people that their design was going to take me an hour, cutting my grass takes an hour. If they'll come cut my grass I'll spend that hour working on their project.

我以前也碰到过好多次这样的事儿，现在我已经不受这些事困扰了。有人叫人帮忙设计个啥的时候根本不会想到要给报酬。我后来就开始告诉他们，设计这个要花上我一个小时，我割个草也要一小时。如果你愿意过来帮过修剪草坪，我就帮你设计。

NOBODY has ever taken me up on it including the two friends with lawn care businesses. These days I just say no, I'm too backed up with paying work.

后来就再也没有人叫我免费打工了，甚至包括两个做割草生意的朋友。现在我就直接拒绝，我十分支持有偿劳动。

If you are the only one trying to maintain a friendship, they aren't your friend and your time and energy would be better spent somewhere else.

如果在一段友情里，你是那个唯一想要维护友情的人，那他们就不是你的朋友。你也不需要把时间和精力花在这儿。

If someone is clearly depressed, prefers alone time, or needs your help before something bad happens, this is not the tip for you to follow. Please reach out to that person and let them know you care.

如果你的朋友的确很沮丧，想要一个人静静，或者是为了避免更糟糕的情况，急需你的帮助，那就别抛弃他们。一定要伸出援手，让他们知道你很在乎他们。

But if you have friends who you consistently try to make plans with, they decline or take a rain check with a "oh we'll have to hang out soon" and never get back with you, yet you see them out with other friends all the time, then yes, this is very applicable. You deserve better friends.

不过如果你的朋友是你老是得为TA改变计划的那种——他们要么拒绝，要么说“下次吧”、“改天我们再出去玩儿”，结果后来也没回音了，但是你却看到TA有时间天天和别人出去玩儿——那，该怎么做你很清楚。你值得更好的朋友。

Don't ask people if they're free on a certain date without specifying why you're asking. Simply asking "are you free on Friday?" comes across like you're tricking the other person into doing whatever it is you want them to do.

先说清楚自己的目的，再问人家某天是否有空。如果只是问“周五你有空吗”这样的问题就会给人感觉你在诱使他们去做你自己想让他们做的事情。

If you constantly vent your problems to someone, make sure to also call them when things are going well. Good listeners can sometimes get overwhelmed, and it's nice to hear positive news. To add to that, also make sure you're available to let them vent their problems. Relationships are a two way street.

如果你不停地跟某个人诉苦，那最好在事情步入正轨之后给TA们一个信儿。贴心的倾听者们有时候也会懵，所以最好让他们收到好消息。另外还有一点就是，你自己也得保证有空听他们倒苦水。毕竟人际关系是双向的。返回搜狐，查看更多